25M Future Eccentric Seeks Woman Who Appreciates The Past
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now, onto our hot single of the week!
this week’s hot single lives vicariously through an assortment of characters–whether a heroic pilot, a weird old guy, or someone who lived in the 1800s. when our Future Eccentric isn’t busy being an Empath, you might find him being the perfect collaborator in the kitchen or watching a movie with his grandma. he’s looking for a future with a woman who’s got some interesting pastimes of her own. check him out!
stay hot 🥵
who inspires you, and why?
Maybe I read too many Daniel Pinkwater books as a kid, but the people I find most inspirational are just like… weird old guys.
There are three types of old guys: Scrooge (money freaks who care too much about their investments), Larry David (lovable but ultimately exhausting curmudgeon), and Jim Broadbent characters (kindly, eccentric vibes, perhaps an accent). I’m aiming the arc of my life squarely for the pot of gold that is type 3, and I revel in finding any examples of just like, weird old dudes with strange interests. I love going deep into the replies of viral tweets and teasing out some top notch profiles of people with 12 followers, 75 years under their belt, and a heart of gold. Here’s one I’ve found recently:
I mean, come on. Just imagine how messy this guy’s garage is! Truly inspirational.
what was your most iconic NYC moment?
Landing US Airways Flight 1549 on the Hudson on January 15, 2009, saving 155 souls and murdering countless geese in the process.
Or, sorry—I got mixed up, that wasn’t actually me. I watched the movie Sully recently with my grandma, and got very choked up when everyone on the plane realized they were going to live, even though I knew what happened in real life and the scene in the movie was itself a flashback. Again, I cannot overstate this: I cried a little bit at the movie, watching a bunch of New Yorkers help each other with some vague gestures at post-9/11 solidarity. I know there’s no actual solidarity amongst the New York creative class (we’re godless and have no allegiances) but I find the idea so charming that it continues to inform the way I think about living in the city.
So yeah, my most iconic NYC moment is when Captain Chesley Sullenberger landed a plane on the Hudson river while I was on the school bus home from 8th grade in Albany.
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
Every other sentence out of my mouth is some variation on “what do you think a person from 1800 would think of modern society, do you think it would blow their mind or would it be normal.”
🥵 what makes you hot?
I am a funny texter. When I have the time, I’m firing off texts that are, at bare minimum, smile-worthy. And not just that, I’m laughing at your texts too. Not just with the laugh reaction. I’ll actually laugh out loud and then tell you I did.
I like to handle the logistics of cooking without being precious if something goes wrong. Buying ingredients, picking complementary dishes, managing timing and space—these are the annoying parts of being in the kitchen, and also the parts that I really enjoy. If we cook together, depending on your comfort as a chef, I will gently take charge to make sure things don’t go off the rails, but if either of us messes up, I won’t really care or be upset—it’s all part of the fun and joy of making food.
I am tall and I have nice long thick hair
🔎 who are you looking for?
I’m looking for a woman who has a laugh like the peal of a silver bell ringing a clear note across the treetops on an autumn morning, or at least someone who enjoys laughing at all, like even a little. Would be cool if they have varied and eclectic interests, or they’re really super into one thing and like to talk about it. And ideally the aforementioned person enjoys walking around new york city and saying things like “I wonder what someone from 1700 would think if they saw the Vessel”
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)