happy new year hotties!
we’re back after a lil winter break. if you missed Hot Singles Wrapped, be sure to check it out.
y’all often ask what’s going on with previously featured hot singles, so every monday on instagram we’re checking in with an alum. this week, see what Plant-Based Princess has been up to:
you can still send an email to express interest in her or others from the archive. now onto the main event…
this week’s hot single is a professionally funny gal. she’s inspired by fellow funny women who bring femininity and sexuality into their work. we know she’s got jokes, but what else? this coquettish comedienne is an excellent communicator and she’s made the noble commitment to never ghost you. could you be her humor-loving hunk?
stay hot 🥵
what’s your claim to fame?
I used to be in commercials for a national cell phone service company that rhymes with Frint, and that has somehow gained me a small following on a foot fetish message board? My other claim to fame is that one time I saw Vanessa Hudgens at a Bareburger and we started bonding over some birds that were *acting up* in the outdoor seating section.
tell us about a book / movie / song / piece of media or art that changed your life
I was so affected by Amy Schumer’s documentary, Expecting Amy, which was released during quarantine. As a fellow blonde comedian I’ve always loved her work, she’s done a little bit of everything I would love to do: live performance, producing her own sketch show, writing her own movie, and even Broadway™. She very much so taught me that you can embrace comedy while remaining feminine and sexual. But this doc specifically changed the game for me. I think it explores womanhood in such an incredible way. It covers her extremely difficult pregnancy and health scares, building an entirely new standup special from scratch, and working on her marriage. It is so wonderful and makes me cry and laugh and feel so proud to be a woman in this industry (the industry of professionally making fun of yourself haha).
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
I’ll definitely comb through your socials immediately if I’m into you. Like whoops all the sudden I’ll be looking at your prom photos. I can get obsessive when it comes to a crush watching my IG story or not. And I’ll always request a bite of your food when we’ve ordered different things.
🥵 what makes you hot?
I’m super responsive over text and will never ever ghost. I have my read receipts on so that makes me one of the bravest people on earth. As brave as firefighters, even. But overall I really appreciate communication and I’ve been ghosted too many times to ever do that to someone else.
I’m charming at parties :)
I have a very sexy secret scar.
🔎 who are you looking for?
I’m looking for a confident guy who also enjoys weird basement comedy shows, bookmarks dozens of pasta recipes, and likes staying in an equal amount to going out. A good kisser with quick wit that I can make things up with. Wanna share custody of my AMC A-List subscription? We can both have her on weekends…
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to email@example.com with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)