25W Funny Girl Seeks Less Com, More Rom
plus, what to do when you've hooked up with someone in your improv group and now it's awkward...
before we jump into the hottie du jour, have you considered submitting a classified? because of this week’s classifieds, people joined book clubs, went to a fun event, and discovered a new newsletter. we also rated this guy who wanted to know his value on the dating market. it’s so special to see the community come to life in this way. join the fun by submitting one of your own:
this week’s hot single is a social media maximalist, but she’s not thinking that hard about it. an optimist who smokes too much weed, this funny girl isn’t changing herself for anybody. she’s looking for a man to inject some romance into her comedy-filled life. is it you?? lmk!
stay hot 🥵
p.s. are you trying to meet people IRL by joining clubs? it can get a little dicey… read my advice on how to handle in-group breakups gracefully
what’s your relationship to social media?
I LOVE that clusterfuck. Before the age of 10 my unlimited and unsupervised access to the internet had blown apart and re-molded my mind into something monstrous, a hyperactive nuclear reactor full of fuck-words and movie references I wouldn’t understand for years to come. As a Zillennial (I detest the portmanteau but it really does the trick) my consciousness was downloaded into the singularity starting with Tumblr and most recently plateauing with Tik Tok. Senior year of high school, where most people would win superlatives such as “best hair” or “life of the party,” I won “selfie royalty.” I got a college degree in ‘Media Studies,’ and for all that money I can’t tell you what it’s taught me. Hopefully, though, my expertise is reflected in my socials? I think people confuse my erratic, often seemingly incessant social media posting to be a compulsive curation of a public identity, but it’s as simple as giving it zero thought, posting what I want, and leaving it alone. Interesting and somewhat unfortunate for me that people confuse that ‘posting style’ for the mating call of the try-hard. And while we’re here, why IS it stupid to try?
what is your best personal quality?
My borderline-psychotic optimism. I didn’t even realize this until typing it, but my #1 mantra has always been “things are gonna be okay, because they have to be.” They just DO. Bad stuff is ALWAYS going to happen, sneak up on you, sit on your face and fart, etc. But THINGS? “Things” at large? They’re gonna be okay. Don’t ask me how I know, that’s like asking someone how they know their ass is in their pants. That’s just the way it is, for better or worse. Things are going to be okay. If you can make that motto the elevator music of your brain, catastrophes will seem smaller and life will keep being itself, but the bad will feel like the interim, until, of course, things end up alright.
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
Being TOO sexy? TOO hilarious? In reality, probably smoking what most would classify as ‘enough weed to make a herd of elephants create a start-up’? Or, if you asked my therapist, it’d be catastrophizing and spiraling in order to pre-upset myself before life can do it for me. Slay!
🥵 what makes you hot?
My me-ness. After growing up in the South and spending my entire life shaving my body smooth like a dolphin and pretending to be boring, I finally decided never to so much as TWEAK myself for what I thought a man would want. I think that’s gonna make me a darn supermodel for the right person. In the meantime, I have a great time, and any compliment I get goes straight into my little heart because I’m being my authentic self.
🔎 who are you looking for?
I’m looking for a guy who knows what they want, who is over their ex, who doesn’t waste energy hating things like astrology just to set up flirtatious fake arguments with women they don’t respect to begin with (too specific?), someone who loves watching stuff on YouTube, who can make anything fun without trying. But also, I’ll know ‘it’ when I see it.
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)
Thanks for reading hotsingles.nyc 🥵👤🗽! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.