Classifieds: hot queer teachers, a questionable dermatologist, and the search for a wingman

also, a reader poses a question: who tf is phoebe bridgers?

hey hotties!

the classifieds yet again deliver something for everyone–whether you’re looking for a wingman, some fellow sapphic poc queers, or a little something to read, we’ve got you covered.

while i have you, i’d love to do a quick poll:

is there anything else you’d like to see on the classifieds? hit reply and lmk!

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. i’m skipping classifieds next week, but i’ll send a little something else instead :)

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Hold My Hand

Friday, 8/19, Elsewhere, East Williamsburg

We were both dancing at the Chelsea Manning set. You asked your friend who was playing and I told you instead. We chatted for a couple minutes about her and danced, you said let’s go to the front together but I didn’t want to lose my friend. I am confident we even were holding hands for a moment! You went to get another drink and were gone! Then, I saw you in another room as I was walking out when you were walking in and you said “hope everything is going good!” I unfortunately couldn’t come up with anything cute to say and scurried up to the roof.

You are Indian and probably like 5’9”–5’11” were wearing a blue with small white stripes kinda flowy shirt, I think it was a henley. You had scruff and wire glasses (I think wire) you were with truly the tallest person ever and he was wearing white, again super tall. I was wearing a black tank top that tied in the front and jeans and have brown hair. I tried to find you again to get your name but couldn’t find you. :( if you’re out there gorgeous man and were flirting with me lmk! The pic of me is me in the elsewhere lighting LOL. Ok fingers crossed we connect. You were so kind and fun!

picnic for sapphic people of color

2:30pm, 9/3, Sheep Meadow, Central Park

i’m hosting my second picnic for sapphic people of color! bring snacks, games, activities, and your hot and funny friends. we’ll bring the bud.

-maya

a newsletter about transitions

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if you're discontent with your life, thinking about making a big change, or generally dreaming about quitting your corporate job, moving to spain, falling in love and getting secretly married 3 months later, you're in good company. i relaunched my newsletter "liminal space," where i write about quitting, starting, and the space in between where the former becomes the latter.

-sarah

ISO hot queer teachers

Shout out to all the teachers about to go back to the classroom (but specifically queer teachers)! If you're looking for a last summer hurrah or a community of other queer hotties mentally preparing to switch back into Ms./Mr./Mx.- mode, let's link!

-freida

ISO wingperson for IRL outings

I'm a hetero 34M, and I'm looking for a wingman or wingwoman to go out together (day or night) and help each other find dates. I find going out to be way more fun and relaxed with a companion. Be the Iceman to my Maverick!

-david

an observation about a dermatologist…

Occasionally I visit a dermatologist—in part, to get free samples of moisturizer. A recent visit had a more spiritual effect on me than an epidermal one. Mustachioed, diminutive, and mild-mannered, Dr. Bruce surely makes a lot of money; he does butt lifts, face lifts, the works. I noticed that every employee—without exception, from the secretary to the associate doctors—were beautiful young women. I asked how this could be, and it turns out Bruce does the hiring–go figure. He's no doubt a shrewd marketeer. His strategy is an old playbook: populate the premises with beautiful women, and men will follow. And while he may be right, I questioned his integrity. How can I trust a medical doctor who hires based on the superficial? I’m sure the attractive female employees are good and noble—but you know what I mean. Bruce is like the Andrew Cuomo of dermatology; he implements affirmative action for attractive women. Some call it business. But I call it full of shit. I don’t always keep the faith, but when I walked out of his office, I finally lost it. I knew exactly what Abraham Lincoln meant when he said: "I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go."

-daniel

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