this week’s hot single wants to make you feel good. they’ll make you laugh by sending you the perfect tiktok and make you feel understood when you reference niche memes. but it’s not all content curation and jokes–this TikTok Fiend can also interpret your texts and sighs with ease–or in their words, they’re “a boyfriend with female intuition.” sound too good to be true? read on to learn more.
stay hot 🥵
p.s. New York Magazine sent Brock Colyar to cover the hot singles party last week. did brock find love in a slightly more hopeful place? find out here, then vote for your favorite party guest (sheer top divorcee is in the lead rn).
what is your go-to party trick?
I have a collection of “would you rather” questions that I ask almost everyone I meet at parties. What seems like a harmless answer to “would you rather be really hot but smell bad, or really ugly and smell good?” or “would you rather be your partner’s type or their exception?” is permanently seared in my mind as a telling first impression. But more than anything, I can gauge our compatibility (friendship or otherwise) based on your willingness to play along.
what’s your relationship to social media?
I am unfortunately chronically online. I wish I could be the dark&mysterious offline bf, but tiktok just tickles my brain right. The upside is that I will send you incredibly curated content that I think you might like, and I will absolutely get that one niche internet reference you make...the downside is that the first time I heard Dior by Pop Smoke irl, I said (outloud! In public!), “oh this song is from tiktok!”
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
My toxic trait is that I indulge my fantasies. I find it hard to stop myself from projecting too far into the future if I’m really into someone. There’s something fun about getting wrapped up in it all, but I’m trying to come back down to reality.
I also genuinely love Dr. Pepper, which isn’t necessarily toxic, but more so disgusting, and should be considered a red flag.
🥵 what makes you hot?
I think that my transness makes me hot. Like, do you want a boyfriend with female intuition? That’s me. No more “wym” texts as a response to a thoughtfully crafted paragraph, I already know wym because you sighed a certain way last week. Actually...this could also be a toxic trait. But seriously, I had to possess a ton of self-confidence and self-assurance to come this far, and I think that those are both things that make someone hot.
🔎 who are you looking for?
I’m looking for a girl with a nice laugh. If I like your laugh I’ll make such a clown of myself to hear it again. Bonus points if she is creative in some way, and likes to communicate lol.
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)