33M Pizza Farmer Seeks Woman Who's Got The Sauce
33M Pizza Farmer Seeks Woman Who's Got The Sauce
hey hotties!
today’s hot single is looking forward to someday running a pizza farm. you’ll have to read his interview to find out what that means. when he’s not dreaming about pizza, he’s doing all sorts of stuff on the internet *except* for social media (unless you count venmo). this pizza farmer obviously makes great pizza, but he also is good at other stuff like making green juice, giving massages, and singing. do you have the sauce he’s looking for??
stay hot 🥵
-randa
what’s your relationship to social media?
Well I haven’t had social media since college. Sometimes when I use Venmo I end up scrolling through the feed, which is maybe as close as I get. You have to read in between the lines a bit more, but it’s mostly all there. I do love many parts of the internet (like these haiku poems on craigslist, this collection of vanity license plates - which I’ve contributed to, including my own “OH WOW” - and scenes from musicals on youtube). I guess at the end of the day I’m distracted enough as it is by all of the beautiful people on the street, and my own daydreams.
what are you looking forward to?
Someday I will have a pizza farm where we grow everything we need to make pizzas, and then a restaurant where we serve them. I think it’s partly about my obsession with pizza, partly about my enjoyment of growing things (I’ve had a vegetable garden the past few summers), and partly about some misguided notion that if I can at least control all of the aspects of some process in life, the world won’t be so bewildering and abstract and opaque. Also, in the not as distant future, looking forward to: learning how to play the guitar and being a wonderful dad.
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
I’m like 3/4 grown up, and 1/4 a 16 year old reckless skater. In the quiet of the night I will pee in one of those tree planters on the side of the street with very little shame. I swear a lot. I will still occasionally ride on the back/outside of the subway train. Also, unrelated, I want to be a hero a little bit too much.
🥵 what makes you hot?
I make incredible green juice, and really good pizza from scratch
My deep, Johnny Cash-esque singing voice
My handwritten love notes & collages
I recently took a tour of a wastewater treatment facility (in my quest to be an informed citizen)
I’ve worked for Wikipedia for the past 5 years - most recently redesigned the desktop website (which will launch in January!)
I’m a volunteer teacher
Last but not least, the supreme quality of my neck and shoulder massages – which I will happily give to you whenever you want
🔎 who are you looking for?
A woman who is curious, talkative, opinionated, and probably a little bit weird. Someone who wants to start a family. Someone who reads a lot and is interested in experimenting with life and is okay with being unconventional.
💌 you can reach pizza farmer (aka alex hollender) at alexhollender@gmail.com 💌
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