26M Phone Call Phreak Seeks No-Texting Tryst
this week’s hot single has quite the talk-sic trait, and his chatter definitely gets him trouble sometimes. a perk of dating him? this phone call phreak stays in the know about cultural happenings but he isn’t a “judgmental monster” about it. call him maybe?
stay hot 🥵
what’s your claim to fame?
Being called a “sad little man with a huge ego” by NYU students. The first time I was ever publicly dragged on Twitter was when I went to see two extracurricular undergraduate productions of Legally Blonde: The Musical within three weeks of each other. The first was at NYU and had a massive budget and not much else. The second was at 1PM in a Columbia gymnatorium (look it up) and the set was essentially just gift wrapping paper on plywood but it was one of the most transcendent theatrical experiences of my life. The drama unfolded when I spotted the girl who played Elle Woods at NYU in the audience of the Columbia production at intermission. In the spirit of journalism, I blasted off a tweet reporting on the incident, and turned my phone back on after the show to people destroying me in our hellacious virtual public square for “pitting two women against each other.” I now avoid Washington Square Park out of fear that an NYU student will confront me IRL.
what brought you to NYC?
Mostly because I got a “dream” job at a right out of school at a talk show (it was mostly getting people coffee and wrangling the interns). I will get this out of the way now so I don’t have to sound like a freak for late-night TV again on a first date: my bar mitzvah theme was talk shows. And, to answer the follow-up question, I sat at the Letterman table and dressed like Larry King. People are shocked when I tell them my theme wasn’t Broadway but then when you get to know me this makes sense too.
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
I have like 100 unread texts at all times. I don’t respond to my closest friends’ texts! It’s hard to keep up! I recently turned on read receipts so people know I am not an asshole I just have debilitating ADHD and turn off text notifications during the workday. I am a massive phone call proponent, and not in an “I’m old school” way but in a “this is so much easier and i can be walking around while we talk” way.
🥵 what makes you hot?
I would say that I’m funny but one time 3 years ago on a date a guy told me I hadn’t made him laugh on the date and he was surprised to hear I did comedy so I now choose to be aggressively unfunny on first dates. I want to come off like Marie Curie on a date (or insert someone equally serious idk.)
I enjoy a lot of cultural things without being a judgmental monster. I know a lot about a few things (theatre, comedy, restaurants), and then a little about a lot of things. People always ask me “how do you know about that?” and quite frankly I don’t know. I am constantly shocked by what I end up being passionate about. Sometimes I just blink and I am on the Upper East Side eating a piece of $8 orange peel chocolate bark that I only heard about because Emily Nussbaum mentioned it on a podcast that I barely listen to.
I have (recently longer) bouncy curly hair and I have to disclaim that the curl cream I use I found by Googling “Shawn Mendes hair product” and scoured every article until I found a direct quote.
🔎 who are you looking for?
I am looking for a man who enjoys seeing theatre, comedy, and restaurants (see above), likes talking on the phone (see above), and has his own world of friends and hobbies! I can be a frustratingly busy person and I would like to date an also busy guy with whom I can meaningfully engage with his life but also can serve as a refuge from an overflowing planner.
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)