first thing’s first, substack just dropped an incredible new product…LoveStack. it’s “the first and only matchmaking service based on your reading preferences.” is this the best thing to happen to dating since hotsingles.nyc??? go try it out and let me know. you can also read their blog post to learn more. now back to bizniz…
this week’s hot single went through a sort of cultural transformation from hustle culture to muscle culture (they work out), horticulture (they garden), and more. when they aren’t occupied by their many hobbies, they’re chefing it up in the kitchen at a popular community-oriented restaurant, dinner party (where we hosted a hot singles dinner). they’re looking for a fellow community-oriented guy or guy-adjacent person to unite in hotness together. get to know them!!
stay hot 🥵
what have you changed your mind about?
Pre-pandemic, I was very much a hustle-culture kind of person. I worked 45-50 hours a week, I worshiped the grind, I poured all of my energy into my career. Now, I protect my leisure fiercely. I journal every morning and every night. I exercise often (rock climbing, running, yoga, weightlifting) in preparation for my answer to the bucket list question below. I give my time to community work when I can, whether that’s knocking on doors for my local socialist city council candidate or organizing drumlines for protests. And I have hobbies! I love chess and Pokémon and I tend to my balcony garden and I live my beautiful little life that I have worked very hard to create. I want to date someone who also has built their beautiful little life and I want to take our separate beautiful little lives and make them kiss on the mouth like Bong Joon-Ho with his Oscars.
what is one thing on your bucket list?
I mean this with 100% seriousness— I will win Survivor. Survivor is my favorite TV show. I had never watched an episode before the pandemic and it became one of my quarantine obsessions and now it is like 35% of my personality. I think I am the exact kind of gregarious, witty, and deeply competitive person that can win Survivor, and I want so badly to get on the show and prove to myself that I can do it. Also, I need that million dollars so I can have children. Which is another thing on my bucket list!
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
I take absolute ages to get ready. I require a comically long time to select an outfit each day, and I make a very colorful and leisurely breakfast every morning. As a result, I am late to most things in general. I am easily distracted by too many choices, and this is a big cause of my chronic lateness. HOWEVER. I am not late for dates and I am certainly not late for first dates. And when I am late for things, I give a heads up!
🥵 what makes you hot?
I ask for what I want. The more I grow up the more I learn that it’s really hard to actually ask for what you want out of life and most people aren’t very good at it. I ask for what I want at work, I ask for what I want from myself, I ask for what I want in my relationships. I’m very direct and confident and I always shoot my shot. Besides that, I’m a 6’1” communist chef at Dinner Party (@dinnerpartybk) who is also a playwright and a classically trained percussionist. I’m learning to play the accordion, I’m a great kisser, I have a huge juicy ass, I have a lot of very different interests and skills and I’m a fantastic conversationalist!
🔎 who are you looking for?
I’m looking for someone male or male-adjacent like me, who also knows how to ask for what they want. Someone who follows up, who is affirming, who has goals and passions and who gives a shit about their community. And they have to be very hot and stand proudly in their hotness because I sure do!
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)