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33W Band Mom Seeks Man To Hold Her Beer
or maybe you can crowdsurf with her?
today’s hot single is alive with the sound of music. as manager of a local band, she lives and breathes live shows. when it comes to her own musical talents? she might know a song or two on the recorder… this band mom is lookin for a man to hold her beer while she crowd surfs. are you in?
stay hot 🥵
p.s. more classifieds next week! submit one here.
tell us about a piece of media or art that changed your life
There’s nothing more attractive to me than people who make stuff. I’m blessed and cursed to be surrounded by a ridiculous number of irritatingly talented and productive individuals, and I’m always striving to be more like them—to not just consume but create. As a writer, The War of Art is the ultimate get-off-your-ass creative manual, and I’ve bought and given away more copies than I can count. Every time I read it, it’s like a shot of adrenaline that makes me want to run 10 miles, hammer out 10,000 words and then triumphantly smash my laptop on the ground like a guitar (Apple’s warranty does not cover that).
On top of that—and from a dating perspective, this is probably problematic on about 5000 levels—I should probably mention that Seinfeld is my personality, my religion and likely not-so-subconsciously the reason I moved to NYC. We worship at the church of Larry David ‘round these parts. Catch me at my Monk’s Cafe equivalent, The Crown Inn.
what are you most proud of?
MY SONS! By which I mean the very grown-up dudes in the very good band I manage, Mary Shelley. Please stream their album here.
(Sorry, it would be a bad manager move to miss a promo opp.) (And I have NO SHAME.)
But in all seriousness, while I don’t play an instrument—aside from ~1.2 songs on drums and “Hot Cross Buns” on the recorder—I do a lot of stuff within the local music scene, and it’s been the joy of my life (+ super fucking fun) to be part of this community and to work closely with so many cool, kind and absolutely brilliant artists.
So, fair warning: I will send you 328827 band recs. And I will need you to hold my drink while I’m crowd surfing.
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
Leaving texts/emails unanswered and half-full cans of La Croix all over the apartment.
Oh, and I have a crush on pretty much everyone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🥵 what makes you hot?
Enthusiasm, baby! Which most recently has manifested in the far-too-frequent use of the word YEEHAW. (I apologize in advance.)
🔎 who are you looking for?
Someone positive and creative who enjoys art, nightlife and nature in equal measure and genuinely cares about the world and the people and animals in it.
Simply put: a good dude down for a good time. Bonus points if you’re a bartender with a skateboard.
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to email@example.com with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)
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