23W Aspiring MILF Seeks Current Or Future DILF

hey hotties!

there’s a new advice columnist in town (hint: it’s me, randa). i’ll be answering your anonymous questions about being single, dating, and navigating relationships. smash the orange button below to get in touch–the first issue goes straight to your inbox next wednesday 💌

ask a question

anyway, this week’s hot single has a lot of love to give, whether it’s her friends, lovers, the kids she’s babysitting…or the dads at her local dog park. when she’s not manifesting her future by flirting with DILFs, you might find her playing soccer or eating spicy food. and like the spice girls said, if you wanna be her lover, you gotta get with her friends.

stay hot 🥵

-randa


what roles do love and affection play in your life?

I love my friends so much. Like I would kill and die for my friends AND for my dog. Big time “if you wanna be my lover gotta get with my friends.” Last Sunday during one of our NYC Footy 7v7 soccer games my roommate twisted her ankle, and when we got home I fashioned an Ace bandage out of a pair of my tights and ran to the bodega in my PJs to buy her a big ice pack… needless to say I was the “C” and the “I” in her Rest Ice Compression Elevation RICE first aid. Plus I’m a big snuggler— not necessarily all night because a girl needs her space, but if I curl up and nap with you on a hungover Sunday afternoon, that’s basically a non-verbal ily.

what’s the best interaction you’ve had with a stranger?

Not a stranger but my local pharmacist (Behrens pharmacy) has known me since I was a child (yeah yeah I moved to the neighborhood I grew up in post-grad what of it) and when I forget to refill my prescriptions (every single month) he remembers for me and calls me and is like “miss Grossman I have your birth control” and it’s a constant reminder that there are good people in this world. Unfortunately I do not know his name but BOY do I know his vibes. 

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I am a dairy free (not by choice) pescatarian (voluntarily) who is really judgmental of picky eaters. If you won’t try fun food with me/have a low spice tolerance……,,, lose my number. Also I was in a sorority in college dkm.

🥵 what makes you hot?

I’m really really good with kids. They freaking love me. I give amazing piggyback rides, make really dank pasta with butter, and I have been told by MULTIPLE individuals under 7 years old that I am the “best babysitter ever.” This may not be overtly sexy, but it is big MILF energy and shows that I like to have fun and I’m not afraid to show my silly side. Also, every guy I have ever met in my life was in love with their childhood babysitter/nanny and so I can be that for you in an adult way (plus I have an ass that just won’t quit <3).

🔎 who are you looking for?

You don’t need to be a father of 2, but I’m definitely lookin for a man who gives off the energy that he could be one day. I mercilessly flirt with dads at the dog park (this can also fall into the toxic trait category I’m realizing).

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