today’s hot single loves to surf–even in the cold winter waters of queens. she’s a fan of maggie nelson, particularly her book, The Argonauts. it changed her perspective on a few things, which you can read on to find out… this cold water surfer is looking for queer womxn who wanna take the plunge (find a primary partner). who’s ready?!
stay hot 🥵
Tell us about a piece of media or art that changed your life
Maggie Nelson’s The Argonauts changed my understanding about both what it meant to write a book and to be queer and in love, create a family. There’s so much in American culture that biases us towards independence and the individual, including in how we approach dating. But Nelson pushes on that and considers how meaningful ordinary devotion to others can be. She writes: “So far as I can tell, most worthwhile pleasures on this earth slip between gratifying another and gratifying oneself. Some would call that an ethics.” And she celebrates how earnest and intentional it is to have a child as a queer couple. It doesn’t “just happen” to you when you’re queer. You have to make it happen, and each child born to a queer couple is a child that is deeply wanted. I remember feeling some shame and sadness around what I as a queer person would have to do if I chose to have a child, and one passage from Maggie Nelson completely changed my perspective.
tell us about a subculture or community you’re part of and how you got involved
The NYC surf community! It’s not a huge group of people, so if you show up often enough to the same waves in Rockaway, you’ll meet folks and get involved. Turns out not that many people want to surf in freezing water…
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
I almost always try to understand another person’s point of view and attempt to make peace, but sometimes someone is just an asshole or a situation is broken and it’s time to walk away. I take too long to do that usually.
🥵 what makes you hot?
I give great eye contact.
I believe in people.
I’m… physically fit? Sports!
🔎 who are you looking for?
Who love to go to talks, see art, talk about the world
And want a primary partner
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to email@example.com with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)
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