24W Soulful Financier Seeks Foreign Man to Align Her Chakras

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this week’s hot single is a real gem–she’s spunky, she’s sensitive, and she’s got a relatable toxic trait. true to her pseudonym, our Soulful Financier is a finance bro and meme lord who can talk stonks, but she’s got a softer side too… maybe send her a poem (or meme) if you wanna win her over ;)

-randa

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what’s something you enjoy that most people consider boring?

Poetry <3 I’m a Pisces (yes I’m into astrology…), so I’m into stuff that makes me feel some type of way. I’m a huge fan of NYC’s Poetry in Motion initiative. The other day I read Faithful Forest on a subway car and started to cry. Not a sad cry, more like a cry that comes from being overwhelmed by something that speaks to your soul... like the cry you let out the first time you watched Forrest Gump. Speaking of crying–please read The Crying Book, it’s become one of my favorites. It’s poetry in book form about, you guessed it, crying! We have all cried in life, even the most horrible people… Isn’t that weird to think about? At the end of the day, we are all humans with the same instincts and bodily functions… meta...

how would your friends describe you?

• “An understanding and trustworthy friend you can always rely on” - Sophia 

• “KIMIA: Keep In Mind, It’s Art” - Hordern

• “Great person to be around because she has a great sense of humor and still laughs a good amount even at her darkest. I don’t know many people who can pose for selfies while almost dying from meningitis” - Derin

• “A compassionate, witty, and intelligent ass individual” - Tal

• “Not your average finance bro” - litquidity

• “When you want to have a fun trip, who do you call? Who will be there when the days are chill or when the nights are crazy, or when the pow is fresh⛷🎿🚠? Kimia” - Sara

• “Can tread water. Beach vacations are an option” - my childhood swim coach

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

Red flags can start looking pretty orange to me if you know what I mean… Like the time I asked a guy to help me take my old bookshelf to a donation center and he proceeded to post pictures of it online to try to sell it? I chalked it up to a “miscommunication.”

🥵 what makes you hot?

Mystery and deception. At first glance, I seem like a boring financier who talks stocks all day, but I’m pretty thoughtful and soulful and also straight up hilarious if I do say so myself. A real “pandora’s box.” I also have the best memes and tweets...

🔎 who are you looking for?

Men with accents. Also new friends–I love new friends, let’s play! 

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