before we get into his personality, it’s worth noting that this week’s hot single somehow pulls off navy blue crocs with socks… need i say more? if that doesn’t convince you of his hotness, he also states lots of special talents and tells us about his winning appearance on a reality show. meet our Goofy Guy!
what’s your myers-briggs type and what does it say about you?
I am an INFJ Myers Briggs type which means that I am:
I - Innately very gorgeous and have a beautiful and divine brain that is capable of whatever I put my mind to so long as I drink 1-2 coffees
N - New York resident. I love da Big Apple, baby!
F - Fun hairstyle. I have a mullet now.
J - Just realized you look kind of down. Hey, are you okay? Right, you did mention you got into a fight with your mom recently I’m really sorry. I bet having a lot on your plate rn at work is not really helping either. Do you want space? No? Do u wanna try that new pie place that opened near you that we’ve been wanting to check out? Yeah, I can be there in 15! No it’s not inconvenient I have a bike, remember? Excited to see u in a bit :)
^^ an example of what u could b getting urself into w/ me
tell us a fun fact about yourself
A few months ago I won a made-for-COVID Zoom TV show on the Oxygen Network called “Sexiest Boy Ever in NYC...And Possibly Even in the World.” It is still in post so please don’t Google it. There were 1 million contestants, including Harry Styles and Timothée Chalamet, who both happened to be in the city at that time. The challenges included things like “Cooking Rly Rly Good Vegan Mapo Tofu,” “Prove You Can Give a Woman 1 Million Earth-Shattering Orgasms in 3 Hours,” and “Being 6’1” which, for everyone else, was hard, but I handled these challenges deftly as they simply are a day in my life. It was an incredibly rewarding experience and I thank everyone involved in producing the show, as well as my fellow contestants (but not Timothée….he is lowkey rude AF!).
My editor has informed me that I must clarify that this story did not actually happen.
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
I used to tweet very hornily but then I went on SSRIs (hold for applause) and I am now neurotypical :) (and the crowd goes wild!!) so I don’t tweet like that anymore. I also love cycling and wear the tight outfit when I do it.
🥵 what makes you hot?
Hmm. I am pretty darn good at cooking (opening the fridge, making a tasty meal out of ingredients I already have). I have a mustache and I’m really good at basketball. I have a bunch of plants that don’t die but I never talk about it and I don’t call myself a “Plant Dad.” I have 6 tattoos that I regret and 1 tattoo that I look at and I’m like “OK. Fine.”
🔎 who are you looking for?
A lil summer shawty. A balmy boo. A tropical tryst. Ideally, someone (probably a lady) who is funny, smart, passionate and likes me. Also, I think it would be fun if you could pick me up. Like, physically lift me over your head (not a kink, just curious).
🙋🏻♀️ if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email and tell him a little bit about yourself :)
how does this work?
you receive a weekly personal ad for a hot single
if you’re interested, reply to this email or send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org (have a friend who might be interested? forward it to them!)
a member of our team will share your message with the hot single, and they’ll take it from there
who is hot singles for?
we’ve got a variety of genders and sexualities on our list. most people are in their 20s and 30s. all are welcome. tell your friends 👯
can i reach out to more than one hot single?
yes. you’re encouraged to respond to as many ads as you’d like.
how do i get featured?
fill out this form to join the waitlist