hey hotties!

we’re back after a little classifieds hiatus… wanna get into next week’s?

submit here

also, icymi, last week i gave some advice to a woman who found out her boyfriend pays for onlyfans. does it count as cheating?

read on for the classifieds. see y’all friday :)

stay hot 🥵

-randa

Sweetie Sixteen

8/19, Punjabi Deli, LES

We were both waiting to order food at Punjabi Deli. You ordered 16 samosas and 16 chaats and I burst out laughing! You then ordered dessert and the guy behind the counter asked how many and I said 16 and we both laughed.

a new take on noah’s ark

9/8-18, The Chain Theatre, 312 W. 36th Street 3rd Floor

Get tickets

before the flood reinvents the tale of Noah's Ark as an empathetic exploration of how to live and love at the end of the world, and whether this whole "two by two" thing is all it's cracked up to be. A family dramedy inspired by ~actual~ Biblical events, my new play is a contemporary reimagining of the night Noah told his family that a flood was coming, and that they were the only ones being saved. But what about the ones left behind? before the flood asks what we owe to each other – and to our planet– in times of crisis.

-emily

iso tennis partner

Ex-varsity high school player looking for hitting partners and new fronds. Must know how to hold a rally, have a decent serve, and be willing to get better with a pal. Potential to break bread or croissants after we play!

-abena

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Classifieds: punjabi deli, noah's ark, and…