27M CitiBike Boi Seeks CitiBae To Take Him For A Ride
this week we’ve got an NYC icon on our hands. citibike boi might be a little reckless when it comes to biking around the city (*definitely* watch the video) but he’s got some softer qualities and an admirable sense of humor too. foodies take note, because this week’s hot single is starting a nostalgic food business–you’ll definitely want to be a taste tester. read more below!
tell us about a hobby you’re really into
I’m trying to start a sandwich company with my brother, so I’ve been spending a lot of time testing out random ingredients and bread combos. We’re going for a kind of elevated Uncrustable (think miso peanut butter and yuzu jam on japanese milk bread). I think the combination lowbrow/luxury sweet spot is really where the magic happens and where there is the most potential to be funny. If we can’t take down Smuckers, I’m also on day 471 of my Duolingo español streak and have spanish translator as a backup side hustle. But, I do the bare minimum each day to hit my streak and I’m still trying to get past “yo bebo leche,” so I’m really hoping los sandwiches take off.
what’s the biggest wrong turn you’ve taken?
Maybe not the biggest, but definitely the most public literal wrong turn I’ve taken happened in my first primetime cameo. I was honored to be on the evening news that aired right after an NBA playoff game, which ensured everyone from my coworkers to parents would get to see my silver screen debut. And I was looking forward to it, until I got blindsided by the reporter roasting me in the voiceover. I got properly meme’d about 5 minutes later on Slack.
what are you most proud of?
After I got my wisdom teeth out and was waking up from the anesthesia, the doctor asked me if anything hurt and I pointed to my chest. She became very concerned and quickly looked at my mom to see if that was expected (like she would know??), and I quickly gave a smirk to let her know I was kidding. You can’t fake the type of comedy that comes out of a half-awake drug-induced state so I feel pretty good about that. I take a lot of pride in being able to take the most serious of moments and get someone else to crack and find something funny in it. The risk:reward ratio is almost never worth it but that’s showbiz baby.
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
My comedic ability comes at the cost of being emotionally unavailable. I can’t make any guarantees that I can change this, but at the very least it will be a good time trying.
🥵 what makes you hot?
My spice tolerance is embarrassingly low, I’m getting hot just reading the word and thinking of spicy food. I’m not sure this is what you were asking but I think it paints a pretty good picture.
🔎 who are you looking for?
A woman who can finish my meals. I’m down to try every/anything at a restaurant but I have the stomach of a baby bird so there’s always plenty of leftovers for my plus one.
🙋🏻♀️ if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email and tell him a little bit about yourself :)
how does this work?
you receive a weekly personal ad for a hot single
if you’re interested, reply to this email or send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org (have a friend who might be interested? forward it to them!)
a member of our team will share your message with the hot single, and they’ll take it from there
who is hot singles for?
we’ve got a variety of genders and sexualities on our list. most people are in their 20s and 30s. all are welcome. tell your friends 👯
can i reach out to more than one hot single?
yes. you’re encouraged to respond to as many ads as you’d like.
how do i get featured?
fill out this form to join the waitlist