my sweet, hot, singles! as i think about how to make this project bigger and better, i would love to hear from you, whether you just signed up (welcome!) or you’re a longtime subscriber. tell me what you love and what you hate, share your dating woes, and let me know if there’s something (or someone 😉) you’d like to see from hot singles. as always, you can reach me by replying to this email 💌
onto this week’s hot single, who i’m very excited to introduce. he’s a certifiably fun guy who is always down to clown, with a true love for the city to boot. he may think spending time in nature is overrated, but he makes up for it with a myriad of unique interests and activities (like writing and publishing a legit children’s book). if you stick it out long enough, maybe he’ll be willing to share his 10 lb. shipment of special bananas.
what’s something unusual you do with your free time?
So I’ve gotten into a...hobby, I guess? Of buying things with extremely long waitlists. Some things include a speakeasy with a one year wait, a walking tour with a one year wait, Hamilton tickets a year later, etc. Because of COVID I’ve had to shift this from experiences with long waitlists to buying goods with long waitlists. A special kind of pasta with a 4 month wait, a 10 lb box of blue java bananas coming in 2-3 years, and a share of several whiskey casks coming at different points in the next decade.
I do this for a couple reasons. One is because it’s kind of like “surprising” future me. Buy something, forget about it, and “oh shit! I forgot about this, it’s gonna be awesome.” Future me loves past me.
Also because I always wanted to participate in the Marshmallow Test and this feels like the adult version of it.
what’s your spiciest take?
I’m gonna get absolutely throttled for this one but I think nature is kind of overrated. I can sense the immediate dismissal from you, dear reader, even without seeing you.
To be clear, I love the occasional outing into nature. I love a good hike every so often, beaches are nice, yada yada yada. But there are a lot of people who LIVE for nature (as in, literally choose where they live based on its proximity to nature) and that’s just not my thing. Nature is nice to me because it’s infrequent and a nice change of pace. But where I get my daily, regular excitement and energy from is bustling cities (the more bustling the better). I fucking love how aesthetically unique neighborhoods are, finding sanitarily questionable food spots, and discovering the different ways urbanites describe how much their public transit system sucks.
Now you might say “dude just find a place that’s a city close to nature and you get the best of both worlds you loser.” No - that is not the same. Because the people that live in those cities will spend their spare time in nature! Cities that are filled with people that love and want to explore cities are just straight up built differently. We can argue this over a beer.
😈 what’s your toxic trait?
I’m unable to watch horror movies but I think the plots are really interesting so I’ll actually read the plot summaries for them instead. I’ll even do this if I’m currently watching a movie if it seems like it might be scary, just to be prepared for stuff that might scare me.
If you decide to not date me because of this, that’s reasonable. I just figured I’d tell you.
🥵 what makes you hot?
My entire ethos is about doing things if they’re novel and fun. I published a children’s book about how clinical trials work literally because I thought the sentence “if you give a mouse metformin” was funny. I organized a Hot Ones party with our friends and asked them super personal questions while crying from hot sauce pain. I gave myself 5 different hairstyles during quarantine for funsies including the arrow from Avatar. I told a friend I’d shill myself on her newsletter for love because it was at least more fun than swiping robotically.
If you wanna explore random shit I’m the first person that will say “I’m down but send me a google calendar invite cause I’ll legit forget otherwise.”
🔎 who are you looking for?
I’m basically looking for a woman who also finds herself going down really random wikipedia rabbit holes, is down to make a fool of herself in public places with me (especially dancefloors), and is as confused about adulthood as I am. Or anyone who wants to know which speakeasy has a long waitlist but will only find out if we go to dinner.
🙋🏻♀️ if you’re interested in our Children’s Book Author, respond to this email and tell him a little bit about yourself :)
how does this work?
you receive a weekly personal ad for a hot single
if you’re interested, reply to this email or send a message to email@example.com (have a friend who might be interested? forward it to them!)
a member of our team will share your message with the hot single, and they’ll take it from there
who is hot singles for?
we’ve got a variety of genders and sexualities on our list. most people are in their 20s and 30s. all are welcome. tell your friends 👯
can i reach out to more than one hot single?
yes. you’re encouraged to respond to as many ads as you’d like.
how do i get featured?
fill out this form to join the waitlist