hey everybody! iβm excited to introduce our first hot single of the week. if youβre interested in her, respond to this email ππ½ββοΈ
sheβs a spiked-seltzer-loving, beat-boxing, techno dancer extraordinaire. youβll never get bored around this banter enthusiast because she literally gets paid to tell stories.
we had to kick it off with someone whoβs a true catch, so without further ado, meet our hot single π£
What hill do you die on?
I deeply believe that ketchup is a food, not just a condiment. Its flavor profile is complex enough - its taste multilayered, versatile, rich - that I contend itβs more akin to a soup than a sauce. This is a true fact: when I was young, I would eat Cheerios with ketchup instead of milk. Before you get grossed out, just know that they were NOT Honey Nut Cheerios (the sweet kind) but just regular Cheerios (little puffed rings that taste like air and went very well with the ketchup). Youβre probably wondering what ketchup brand I favor...and Iβll let you in. Itβs no secret. Itβs Heinz. All those artisanal ketchups miss something - theyβre too sweet, too chunky, there isnβt enough tang. My hill is Heinz and I am prepared to die on it.Β
How would your friends describe you?
I just asked them. They said the following (edited for clarity and also to remove any bad things they said):Β
Very loud laugh
Expressive eyes + eyebrows combo
Will make small talk with anyone BUT ALSO knows when to end it!!!Β
Loves spiked seltzer (and believes she discovered it) (editorβs note: I did)Β
Expert at flirting with baristas and waiters to get free stuff
Can beatbox forcefully if not well
what makes you hot?
I generally run hot (my resting body temperature is VERY high, nothing medically diagnosable or wrong so PLEASE donβt worry!!!). Beyond that, Iβm hot because I have fun a lot. Like, if Iβm with someone and weβre going somewhere and we get there and thereβs an unexpectedly super long line, and we have to wait in it, and itβs like ughhhhh I had no idea thereβd be a line!!! I would make that experience fun. If youβre fun too, weβd have a good time in that line. And I think thatβs hot.
π stats
age: 26
occupation: Story Producer + Editor
neighborhood: Prospect Lefferts
β¨ favs
book: Speedboat by Renata Adler
song: Impossible tie between Fiebre by Bad Gyal and Bruised Orange by John Prine
tv/movie: Arthur (as in the Aardvark)
ππ½ββοΈ if youβre interested in this weekβs hot single, respond to this email :)
how does this work?
you receive a weekly personal ad for a hot single
if youβre interested, you respond to the ad. (have a friend who might be interested? forward it to them)
a member of our team will share your message with the hot single, and theyβll take it from there
have a question or interested in being featured?
respond to this email and weβll be in touch :)