two years ago, i started hot singles on a whim. i was bored of dating apps and thought it’d be fun to interview my friends and send out a weekly personal ad. it turns out that a lot of other people thought it was fun too! i’m sorry to say that the fun is now over: you’re reading the final edition of hot singles.

whether you read these emails, went on dates, or fell in love, i hope this newsletter left you feeling more optimistic and light about dating. i am super grateful to everyone who participated in some way. what made hot singles great is largely the community that rallied around it.

to peel back the curtain, this newsletter translated to an unexpected shift in my career. before this, i was a humble product manager at a startup. now, i freelance not only as a product manager, but also as a writer, editor, and creative. i’m not sure what my next personal project will be, but i’ll let you guys know when i launch something new. in the meantime, i’d love to work with people from the hot singles community, so hit me up if you wanna collab! you can still reach me at randa@hotsingles.nyc or on twitter.

and now, without further ado, i present to you the Final Girlboss of hot singles…

STAY HOT 🥵

-randa

some housekeeping

• if you want to get in touch with any archival hot singles, email me before the end of the month and i’ll pass along your message

• those who got yearly paid subscriptions will get refunded in the next few days

what’s something you can’t live without?

every month, my friends and i write reflections and review them together. we get on a call, write in silence, and then take turns sharing our responses and helping each other problem solve. we’ve been doing reflections for the past three years and i still look forward to it every time–it makes me feel super connected and understood by my friends and it gives me insight into what’s most important to them. even if i enter a reflection sesh feeling down, i always leave feeling optimistic. maybe one day we’ll get tired of it but i hope we keep reflecting until death do us part.

what’s your starter pack?

playing bad bunny at all hours, getting two pastries at the bakery because i need sweet and savory, refusing to commit to morning plans because “i might go surfing,” typing all lowercase except for all caps LOL, sand in my bed, coining acronyms and making my friends use them, wearing athletic recovery sandals and trying to make it fashion, going to the bathhouse at any chance i get, and cyberbullying thought leaders on twitter.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

i made a newsletter to find a boyfriend and then waited two years to use it

🥵 what makes you hot?

i have a unique energy–sort of a cross between a monk, a clown, and a therapist. not the most stereotypically ‘hot’ archetypes, but the combination thereof is unexpectedly alluring. i have a calming presence, but also an ongoing stream of observational humor, and i’ll ask you better follow-up questions than your therapist. people often think i’m younger than i am because of my glowing skin and sense of childlike wonder.

🔎 who are you looking for?

a man with unbridled optimism, love for the beach, and a penchant for mischief

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

today’s hot single loves to surf–even in the cold winter waters of queens. she’s a fan of maggie nelson, particularly her book, The Argonauts. it changed her perspective on a few things, which you can read on to find out… this cold water surfer is looking for queer womxn who wanna take the plunge (find a primary partner). who’s ready?!

stay hot 🥵

-randa

Tell us about a piece of media or art that changed your life

Maggie Nelson’s The Argonauts changed my understanding about both what it meant to write a book and to be queer and in love, create a family. There’s so much in American culture that biases us towards independence and the individual, including in how we approach dating. But Nelson pushes on that and considers how meaningful ordinary devotion to others can be. She writes: “So far as I can tell, most worthwhile pleasures on this earth slip between gratifying another and gratifying oneself. Some would call that an ethics.” And she celebrates how earnest and intentional it is to have a child as a queer couple. It doesn’t “just happen” to you when you’re queer. You have to make it happen, and each child born to a queer couple is a child that is deeply wanted. I remember feeling some shame and sadness around what I as a queer person would have to do if I chose to have a child, and one passage from Maggie Nelson completely changed my perspective.

tell us about a subculture or community you’re part of and how you got involved

The NYC surf community! It’s not a huge group of people, so if you show up often enough to the same waves in Rockaway, you’ll meet folks and get involved. Turns out not that many people want to surf in freezing water…

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I almost always try to understand another person’s point of view and attempt to make peace, but sometimes someone is just an asshole or a situation is broken and it’s time to walk away. I take too long to do that usually. 

🥵 what makes you hot?

• I give great eye contact. 

• I believe in people. 

• I’m… physically fit? Sports!

🔎 who are you looking for?

• Queer womxn

• Who love to go to talks, see art, talk about the world

• And want a primary partner

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

ever been told you’re not like other guys? well this guy isn’t like other girls. for one, he spends so much time with small rodents that he has become personally invested in their success. like other guys, though, he participated in the whole gamestop debacle of 2021. did he get rich? read on to find out…

stay hot 🥵

-randa

who inspires you? (and why)

My PhD work involves training mice to solve logic problems (think Mr. Bobo from Coraline if he was a woman in STEM minus the woman part) and one of my mice, Dv005, started off as the intellectual runt of the litter. She never gave up though and in the last two weeks has girlbossed her way to becoming the best-performing mouse of her entire cohort- kind of like a mouse version of Hillary Clinton or celebrity chef and accomplished businessman Wolfgang Puck. She inspires me to never give up even if times are tough and I’m just a smooth-brained member of the muridae family <3 

I’m also deeply inspired by Noam “The Rock” Chomsky- an academic who has made seminal contributions to the cognitive sciences while advocating for a number of progressive social issues (Vietnam, Palestine, climate change, etc.) AND replying to every email he receives ?? Talk about getting you a guy who does both !!

what seemed like a good idea at the time?

I was one of those people who invested a lot of money in Gamestop right when the stock exploded in early 2021. At first, everything was gravy and I was up several hundred thousand dollars. Unfortunately, all of this was unfolding during my surgery rotation when I spent most of the day scrubbed and without access to my phone.

During one fateful and particularly long appendectomy, my phone began to buzz and kept buzzing for the duration of the procedure. When I scrubbed out, I saw that the stock had tanked and long story short, in spite of my best efforts to channel my inner Mark Cuban, I ended up selling for almost exactly $0 profit. Now I am back to regularly patronizing the last few 99c pizza places in Manhattan. As they say in France, “U win some, u lose some :’)”

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I’m just going to leave this here:

🥵 what makes you hot?

• I have read The Notebook

• I haven’t read Infinite Jest

• Sometimes I write kitschy lil synthpop songs- I wrote this hot single for hot singles like you <3

• I have published peer-reviewed research on Despicable Me

• I run a novelty Twitter account with 0 followers where every tweet is of the form “Within each of us there are two wolves: X and Y” (e.g., “Within each of us there are two wolves: the Dingley Tariff Act of 1897 and a lukewarm bowl of porridge”)

• I teach kiddos human + worm biology on Saturdays

• How many of these can I put before it becomes super arrogant

🔎 who are you looking for?

Women who are kind, curious, and understand that Cars 2 had to walk so Everything, Everywhere, All at Once could run.

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

today’s hot single has a way with words. she makes good use of her talents at work, but this verbal vixen can also sweet talk and banter with the best of ‘em. behind her girlboss exterior she’s a “touchy feely feeler” looking for somebody who wants to make memories. could you make her lost for words??

stay hot 🥵

-randa

what’s your relationship to social media?

My day job is unfortunately in social media as a manager and strategist, so my relationship is a tad toxic! lol. I was “raised by the internet,” which for me means I’ve been very online ever since I was a middle schooler, creating and consuming on both the nichest and most popular platforms, researching pop culture and Black Twitter as gospel. Which has made me very good at my job, and not so good with boundaries or unplugging. We’re working on it though ;)

what’s your superpower?

Language. I don’t know any languages other than english yet (fluently), but I find my ability to transmute feelings and thoughts into visual and written language is my fairy dust. I am a multi-disciplinary photographer/creative and writer that has no problem communicating nuances. I love listening. My next party trick will be to communicate more intentionally with body language, and maybe even master conflict resolution. 

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

i don’t think some cute *verbal* flirting every now and then is cheating. heh.

🥵 what makes you hot?

I have great playful banter, and I flirt with my eyes. also I'd love to consider my natural intrigue and curiosity as hot. I light up to the sound of new accents, tastes, sounds, environments and colors. I’m proud of my good taste, and I am a touchy feely feeler behind my strong career girl sensibilities. I like to think I am “low maintenance” because I’ve provided a lot for myself so far in life, which makes choosing a partner that much more special. I also just love to genuinely support the people in my life with action when I can - I think that’s a big hot characteristic of mine. 

🔎 who are you looking for?

pretty masculines of all genders are my type. i am bisexual. my ideal partner is charming, cheeky, thoughtful, and stable. above all else, someone that has undeniable chemistry with me, and who wants to make new memories and cuddle a lot.

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

you may have heard that substack launched a new chat feature in their mobile app. it’s like a group chat for readers of a specific publication. yesterday, i asked y’all what you think is hot for november:

it's a little more natural than commenting on an actual post which can sometimes feel kind of… boomer? to participate, you can download the app and click the little chat button on the bottom:

Get app

ANYWAY - back to bizniz. today’s hot single loves to make stuff out of rocks, specifically sparkly rocks. he views creativity as a “dialogue with the universe,” and wants to meet a woman who shares an interest in art. could you be the muse to rock his world?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. don’t forget! submit a classified for tuesday.

tell us a fun fact about yourself

GEM SCULPTOR AND JEWELER BY DAY; EXPERIMENTAL SYNTHESIST BY NIGHT. MY FOCUS CAME FROM WANTING TO CREATE ART MORE PERMANENT THAN FLESH AND REALIZING THAT ONLY PRECIOUS THINGS PASS THROUGH TIME. IT ALSO TURNS OUT I’M A PRETTY BIG NERD ONCE I LET MY CURIOSITY RUN WILD! I WORK IN DIVERSE MEDIUMS BUT THE ONE THAT SHINES THE MOST HAPPENS TO INCLUDE MAKING WEDDING RINGS.

what’s something you can’t live without?

NO MATTER WHAT MATERIALS ARE AVAILABLE, I MUST CREATE ART! MY CALLING IN LIFE IS TO TRANSFORM MATTER FROM ONE STATE TO ANOTHER; MORE REFINED AND COMPLEX IN EXPRESSION, IMBUED WITH MEANING AND MAGIC. CREATING THINGS FEELS LIKE A SORT OF DIALOGUE I CAN HAVE WITH THE UNIVERSE, AND SOMETIMES, IT TALKS BACK.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

• PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT ROCKS

• EXPERIMENTAL “MUSIC”

• ALWAYS AT THE STUDIO

• SHAMELESS P.D.A.

🥵 what makes you hot?

• MOHS SCALE: 11

• GOOD WITH HIS HANDS

• INSPIRED AND CURIOUS

• LOVES TO CO-CREATE

🔎 who are you looking for?

I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS EQUALLY A COLLABORATOR AND MUSE; A MULTI-FACETED RENAISSANCE WOMAN WITH THE VIBRANCE OF A JEWEL AND CLARITY TO MATCH! MY IDEAL PARTNER WANTS TO ART STUDIO & CHILL.

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

this week’s hot single has a hefty appetite for physical risk. be it skateboarding or getting on a motorcycle, she’s always down for a ride. she’s also a thoughtful hostess–keeping a list of her friends’ favorite drinks and hangover cures means she’s always prepped to please. this east village loyalist is looking for connection… could you be loyal to her?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. get your classified in for next week!

what was your most iconic NYC moment?

I don’t know if I would call it iconic, but I lived alone in the east village during the height of quarantine while working night shift in a covid ICU. When I wasn’t working, I ate homemade pasta carbonara, threw movie marathons with my cats, and played a lot of Kate Nash and Camp Cope songs on my guitar. I also spent a lot of time listening to the jazz band play in Tompkins Square Park, shoutout Eric Paulin, an OG nyc jazz musician and busker. 

what’s something you can’t live without?

I’m not happy unless I get to romanticize the things around me and the people I love. I want to make you a homemade hot chocolate so we can sit on my front steps and people watch. Let's go to see your favorite artist and sing along to all the words, let’s read poetry to each other in bed, let's get matching tattoos, I’m down for all of it.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I’m not a risk averse person. I tore my ACL last summer on the mini ramp at substance skatepark. I also have a fabulous story about climbing onto the back of a motorcycle at 4 am in a foreign country. Cautious people don’t always enjoy me. I also refuse to move out of the east village. 

🥵 what makes you hot?

One weekend you’ll find me at the bars having a heart to a heart with a stranger until 3am, and the next weekend you’ll find me smoking a joint on my roof listening to Bon Iver alone and going to bed at 10pm. I organize the concert and events calendar for my friends and I keep a notes app list of all their likes and dislikes as far as pregame drinks and hangover cures because I want to be able to hand them what they were already wanting without them having to ask. I show up everywhere with a hot black bodega coffee, I read, I got a masters degree in my spare time while working, and I volunteer at a non-profit community garden. I’m just a well-rounded hot awesome person, honestly. 

🔎 who are you looking for?

I’m looking for genuine connection and care from a person of any gender. I value communication and chemistry. I want to have fun and enjoy romantic things in a low pressure setting :) 

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

this week’s hot single has deleted her dating apps in favor of IRL crushes. she loves to crush, and she would love to crush on you or with you or both. this pants hoarder is obviously obsessed with pants (she has too many pairs) but maybe if you make the right human pair she’ll stop looking for more pants? who is to say!

btw… if you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’ll get access to this pants hoarder’s fav date spot (alongside 55 other places in the google maps list).

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. don’t forget to submit a classified!

what’s something you can’t live without?

A good crush. Crushes are the best, I love to feel excited about seeing someone. I deleted dating apps (hinge </3) about 6 months ago and I’ve never been happier. I discovered crushes again and they make my life 10x better. That feeling of getting excited to see someone and talk to them, oof, that is a god tier emotion. I could have a crush on YOU, or better yet, we could have a crush on EACH OTHER. Imagine that. Now, imagine DRAGONS. That would be fun for both of us I think. 

make up your own fuck/marry/kill

Pants / Skirt / Shorts. I am personally marrying pants because they are reliable and very versatile. I moved recently and I had to count my pants, I have over 30 pairs :/ Please don’t judge. Hopefully we can both wear the pants (proverbial and literally). I’m fucking skirts because obviously skirts are hot. My favorite skirt says “Annie” on the butt... Also great skirts can be both long and short and I think that makes sense for other things too, lol. Killing shorts. Does this need an explanation? 

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I’m a speed walker. Inserting a quote here from my friend “Annie is an extremely fast walker to the point where I have to run after her sometimes.” If I only could I’d make a deal with god to find someone that can keep up with me. 2fast2furious. 

🥵 what makes you hot?

I love to try new things. Right now I am into pottery and climbing. I am bad! at! both! But that is what makes it fun. I am making big clay molars (see, teeth) in pottery that can also be used as candle holders. Someone asked me if I was a dentist :/ The answer is no, so much respect for the dentist community tho. 🙏🦷

🔎 who are you looking for?

I’m looking for a man who will commit! to the bit! and keep a joke going until we are in a massively different place than when we started. Someone who knows how to communicate and is down to try new things. Most importantly, mutual crushes. 

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

this week’s hot single hails from london but she’s quickly adapted to live her best nyc life. a bookish gal by trade, she’s got a long list of titles to get through. whether she’s sipping martinis, stoop sale-ing, or otherwise gallivanting, one thing is sure–she’s the main character. could you be her supporting actor?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. have a classified? submit it!

what question are you trying to answer most in your life right now?

“Exactly how much fun can I have before I completely run out of money?” is a question I have been asking myself repeatedly since I moved to NYC last year and realized that it was the best possible decision I could have ever made. This city is vibrant and exhausting and fulfilling–and all too tempting. My quest to answer this question is lowkey stressful, but the espresso martinis, stoop sales, and beach weekends are entirely worth it.

what’s the last thing you wrote in your notes app?

An update to my TBR list. As an editor at a startup publisher, I am sadly a cliché with books being both my life’s work and great love. Currently on the pile are: Freshwater, Palmares, The Sympathizer, Verge, The Sex Lives of African Women, Monstrilio, Harlem Shuffle, Lessons in Chemistry, Memphis, Honey & Spice, Olga Dies Dreaming… shall I go on?   

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

Always being late

🥵 what makes you hot?

Being the most stylish one in the room; being a Londoner; moving to NYC mid-pandemic; consistently beating apple maps with my walking speed; almost entirely living in men's blazers.

🔎 who are you looking for?

A tall, gorgeous man who is culturally engaged and has chat. I’m out here living my best life so if you just bring the good vibes, mad stories, and lots of wine, we’ll see what happens.

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

earlier this week, i made it possible to support hot singles with your $$. thank you to everyone who has bought a paid subscription so far! as a quick refresher, if you upgrade, you get a google maps list of date spots curated by the famous hot singles themselves… it’s only 5 bucks a month or $50/year…

clicking this button makes you hotter

this week’s Guy Who Has Friends really cares about the beings in his life regardless of species or geography. a cat daddy with shared custody of a feline son, he spends his days doing characteristically “hot shit” at a local coworking space. in his youth, our hot single had a shot at fame…but he instead opted for a career in STEM. could you be the girl for him?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. more classifieds next wk! submit one here.

what was the best part of your week?

Besides the hot shit I do every day at the brass factory on north 4th and wythe, the best part of my week was cooking dinner, eating haribo starmix and chocolate chip cookies, and watching Avatar (2009) with my roommates. I’ve lived in Williamsburg with two of my best friends for the past three years — we’ve raised child together (adopted our cat Taika 2 years ago, pictured below). 

Some of my oldest* friends and family live in Denmark and I only get to see them once or twice a year. So being able to spend quality time with my roommates every week has a special place in my heart.

*I wrote this to signal that i have long lasting friendships, not that i have friends who are of old age

tell me about a game you made up

It’s a 2-5 player game that you can play anywhere, as long as there are strangers around. The point of the game is to get a stranger to turn their head by saying the most ridiculous thing you can think of as they walk by. You go one person at a time: the moment a stranger passes you by, you say something like “so i was blowing this veteran” or “don’t worry darling was a good movie” or “my aunt is the best kisser” or “I love this place so much I want to bury my kids here” and if the person turns their head, you’re awarded a point.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

Replying ‘maybe’ to every partiful invite i get

🥵 what makes you hot?

I follow my passions - even though i was in a series of swedish mint commercials when i was 6 and they said i could have been the first timothee chalamet, my heart was always more into math and the oft misunderstood field of product management. I could easily have fallen down the path of seeking glory - it was right there in front of me. 

🔎 who are you looking for?

Women who are driven by curiosity and creativity. Someone open minded, because some of my jokes are so bad and you gotta accept the bad ones cause the good ones are coming. Must be optimistic about the unknowns.

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

today in the cut i gave some advice to a heteropessimist. the tl;dr is be nice and stop worrying about the superficial stuff!

today on hot singles we have someone who seems very nice but who also knows how to work, in every sense of the word. whether she’s crushing it at her job or leaving it all the dance floor, this dance floor flirt can execute. she’s looking for a capital P Partner of any gender for a supportive, giggly union. it doesn’t hurt if you know how to sashay…

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. need i remind you about the classifieds again? they come out on tuesday. here’s a button:

the submit a classified button

what are you most proud of?

My work ethic. I don’t mean this strictly in the 9-5 sense, although I am proud of the work I do as a producer. I just make sure I’m constantly working towards a larger thing for myself, right now that’s a play I’ve been writing. I’m careful to be fair, positive, and considerate. I take pride in how I show up to a project and execute.

what’s the best interaction you’ve had with a stranger? 

They all happen on the dance floor. I’m a big believer that if you don't leave the function sweaty, you didn’t do it right. Sharing moments with people, no strings attached, in a moment of joy and spontaneity. That’s my favorite place to be. 

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

• Love the haters, hate the lovers.

• 864 unread text messages currently on my phone.

• Give me a reason to leave and I'll take it.

🥵 what makes you hot?

• Easiest +1. I can’t shut the fuck up.

• Everyone’s #1 Fan.

• Great Dancer.

🔎 who are you looking for?

I moved into a space where I’m dating to actually find a partner. Someone who is in a creative field, supportive… we gotta be able to giggle. Someone I feel comfortable around. Open to all genders.

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

the people loved the classified about sharing an apple… are you looking for a companion for something very specific? respond to this and let me know. do you otherwise have something to drop into next week’s classifieds?

classify me baby

this week’s hot single is the type of guy you want at your party. he can do a lot of useful stuff (like rolling spliffs and opening bottles) and he won’t shy away from a dancefloor makeout–a great addition to any gathering. he’s lookin for somebody of any gender who will add some light to his life and help him grow, photosynthesis-style…

stay hot 🥵

-randa

what is your go-to party trick?

I can open bottles with almost anything. Keys, a pencil, a lighter, the random coins that are somehow always around. I guess a lot of people can do this, or at least that’s what I thought, but people always seem super amused when I open their beers with whatever’s around. Don’t really know how I learned how to do it. It just makes sense. I can also roll a spliff from start to finish in like a minute and a half. That came more as a practice makes perfect situation. I went to a stressful art school and would roll my cigarettes so I got a lot of practice there. I also lived alone and didn’t have anyone to roll for me like I had in the past so I had no choice but to learn. Now it’s second nature.

what’s the best interaction you’ve had with a stranger?

I visited a friend in Scotland when I was living in Berlin. On my first night in Glasgow, I ended up meeting a boy and going out to a club with him and some other people my friend knew. That night, a straight girl kept aggressively hitting on and touching this boy even though he kept saying he was gay. After a while of hearing him try politely to get her to go away, I decided to pretend like I was his boyfriend and we made out on the dance floor. Many more drinks and other things led to us hooking up which I’d never actually done before then. We ended up staying together for the remainder of my first trip to Scotland. We talked everyday and visited each other between Glasgow and Germany until I had to go back to NY to finish school. He was my first boyfriend. This was years ago and we broke up a while ago but that one interaction made the biggest ripple to who I am now. 

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I overthink things. Not in a super toxic negative way all the time but little things slowly build up in my head and I stress myself out. I definitely have insomnia so maybe my thoughts keep me up at night. It’s not always but it does happen from time to time. I try to be super communicative about it though. 

🥵 what makes you hot?

I cook. I’ll cook you a multi-course meal just because why not. Waiting for special occasions is dumb. I’m working on a cookbook, cater private meals, and host food and drink events that other people have been into so I’d think I’m a pretty decent cook. If you like to eat or drink, which everyone should love, you’ll probably like me. 

🔎 who are you looking for?

I’m looking for someone I can talk to, who contradicts me when I’m wrong and grows with me as an individual and collectively. I’m not attracted to a specific gender because I think it doesn’t matter. I’m more interested in you just for being you. (I’m very much pansexual)

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

if you’re looking for something fun to do tmrw, there’s a cool event (food and crafts and bdsm 101) happening at honey’s during the day… check out the details in this week’s classifieds. and smash the button below to submit a classified of your own:

smash

today we’re bringing you a hot single that’s been anticipating the start of autumn. she’s a dreamer and a romanticizer, taking inspo from the windows of fifth ave or her Brooklyn childhood. who is this autumn apostle looking for? somebody who channels that teacher’s pet, first day of school energy… you know who you are!

stay hot 🥵

-randa

what was your most iconic NYC moment?

I spontaneously went to a friend of a friend’s rooftop party in Bushwick this summer and watched fireworks while the DJ played Touch the Sky by Kanye West. The roof was GORGEOUS and had great views of Brooklyn and Manhattan. I was with one of my best friends and wearing a good ass outfit, if I do say so myself. I had the best time, it felt like all my little Brooklyn girl dreams of being a young woman in the city had come true. It was magical.

what are you looking forward to?

Autumn, or as I’ve declared it this year, You’ve Got Mail Autumn. I was dreaming about the coziness of mid-September on the Upper West Side (through the lens of Nora Ephron, of course) while on a trip to LA last month. Summer is fun and all, but I’m ready to put on a cable knit sweater and Uggs, watch the leaves change colors in Central Park, get groceries at Zabar’s, and accidentally have an online fling with my nemesis. 

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I’m a frequent window shopper on Fifth Avenue, particularly Saks. I love high fashion, and nothing makes me happier than being surrounded by beautifully crafted things. Some might call it a problem, I call it manifesting an abundant, luxurious future. 

🥵 what makes you hot?

I’m the whole package and I know it, but my large Afro-Indo Caribbean family, my roots as a nerdy, socially awkward kid, and the MTA keep me very humble. 

🔎 who are you looking for?

Someone of any gender who is incredibly smart, kind, thoughtful, hilarious, progressive, well-dressed and well-rounded. Enjoys late night bodega runs as much as late afternoon Sunday brunch and is always up for an outing. Bonus points if you have a cute cat and/or were told you were a pleasure to have in class as a kid. Extra bonus points if you’re passionate about film and television.  

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

today’s hot single is alive with the sound of music. as manager of a local band, she lives and breathes live shows. when it comes to her own musical talents? she might know a song or two on the recorder… this band mom is lookin for a man to hold her beer while she crowd surfs. are you in?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. more classifieds next week! submit one here.

tell us about a piece of media or art that changed your life

There’s nothing more attractive to me than people who make stuff. I’m blessed and cursed to be surrounded by a ridiculous number of irritatingly talented and productive individuals, and I’m always striving to be more like them—to not just consume but create. As a writer, The War of Art is the ultimate get-off-your-ass creative manual, and I’ve bought and given away more copies than I can count. Every time I read it, it’s like a shot of adrenaline that makes me want to run 10 miles, hammer out 10,000 words and then triumphantly smash my laptop on the ground like a guitar (Apple’s warranty does not cover that).

On top of that—and from a dating perspective, this is probably problematic on about 5000 levels—I should probably mention that Seinfeld is my personality, my religion and likely not-so-subconsciously the reason I moved to NYC. We worship at the church of Larry David ‘round these parts. Catch me at my Monk’s Cafe equivalent, The Crown Inn.

what are you most proud of?

MY SONS! By which I mean the very grown-up dudes in the very good band I manage, Mary Shelley. Please stream their album here.

(Sorry, it would be a bad manager move to miss a promo opp.) (And I have NO SHAME.)

But in all seriousness, while I don’t play an instrument—aside from ~1.2 songs on drums and “Hot Cross Buns” on the recorder—I do a lot of stuff within the local music scene, and it’s been the joy of my life (+ super fucking fun) to be part of this community and to work closely with so many cool, kind and absolutely brilliant artists. 

So, fair warning: I will send you 328827 band recs. And I will need you to hold my drink while I’m crowd surfing.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

Leaving texts/emails unanswered and half-full cans of La Croix all over the apartment. 

Oh, and I have a crush on pretty much everyone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

🥵 what makes you hot?

Enthusiasm, baby! Which most recently has manifested in the far-too-frequent use of the word YEEHAW. (I apologize in advance.)

🔎 who are you looking for?

Someone positive and creative who enjoys art, nightlife and nature in equal measure and genuinely cares about the world and the people and animals in it. 

Simply put: a good dude down for a good time. Bonus points if you’re a bartender with a skateboard.

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

classifieds are back on tuesday… got a missed connection, event, or burning thought to share? let the people know:

submit a classified

anyway, a lot of hot singles have talked a big game about their dedication to seasonal produce, but this produce princess walks the walk too. when she’s not doing produce stuff, you might catch her at the thrift store performing her most toxic trait. this hot single is looking for a guy who knows his way around the farmers market… might you be the apple of her eye this fall?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

what’s your claim to fame?

I throw seasonal vegetable parties @produceparties to celebrate produce at its peak. It started as a 10 person dinner with friends from the food industry to celebrate summer’s best vegetable (tomatoes - this is not up for debate). Over the past year it’s grown through word of mouth to dinners with 90+ guests and almost 800 humans on Instagram. I love geeking out over fresh produce and bringing people together, so it’s been a dream come true. 

what was your most iconic NYC moment?

In the depths of covid I went to 2nd Avenue Deli to pick up lunch for my grandma (like any good Jewish granddaughter would). I started chatting with the manager and he asked me all of the basics. I told him I studied Psychology at the University of Michigan (go blue?), now worked in food, lived in the city, and most importantly yes, I was single. Even though my face was covered by my mask he said he knew my perfect match-his stepson. He proceeded to write down his stepson’s name and number on a 2nd Avenue Deli postcard. I immediately sent a picture of the postcard to my friends asking if I should text him, and we all agreed I had to. We definitely weren’t the perfect match, but it’s still my favorite NYC story of all time.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

Thrifting when I feel any sort of emotion. And then normally looking back a few weeks later and saying why did I buy that. 

🥵 what makes you hot?

I’m a great dinner date. I keep tabs on new restaurants, love trying new foods, order to share for the table, and always befriend the server. I also enjoy cash-only hole in the walls just as much as a michelin rated spot.

🔎 who are you looking for?

I’m looking for a guy to explore NYC and beyond with. Someone who is smart, passionate, and knows their way around the farmers market. Plus plus if you have a creative job or hobby. 

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

classifieds are on hiatus next wk but you can still get them in for 9/6. submit here!

this week’s hot single is a surfer bro, a crossdresser, a football fan, and when the situation calls for it, a “father.” just so we’re clear, he’s not actually a dad, but sometimes his friends rely on him like a father figure. anyway, this wayward waterman loves to wander and he’s looking for a femme person to sate his lust, or maybe come along for the ride. could it be you?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

tell us about a subculture or community you’re part of and how you got involved

I’m a huge outdoor activities guy, but I especially love sailing, surfing, and am just getting into kiteboarding this summer. The ocean has always played a huge role in my life, and I love to spend time on the water. At least once a year I consider blowing up my living situation, quitting my job, buying a boat, and just sailing around the world. If that appeals to your sense of adventure, let me know.

One of the best things about surfing is that it pushes me outside my comfort zone, especially some of the gnarlier surf on the west coast. I have a life goal to surf every break in California–right now I’m at 25 of at least 150. I’m super stoked to be getting into kiteboarding, but it has a ridiculously hard learning curve. The community is really welcoming though, and it’s just such an irresistibly cool feeling to have the kite pulling you as you skate on top of the water.

who is your alter ego and when do they come out?

I will go full dad mode when the situation calls for it. Whether it’s directions or taking charge in a bad situation, there’s a reason my friends call me Director Dylan, Father, or the occasional Daddy Dyl. That last one was meant to be weird and somehow managed to stick around the longest. Go figure.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

A deeply unhealthy attachment to college sports. I will shamelessly brave the depths of Murray Hill to watch Michigan Football on Saturdays.

🥵 what makes you hot?

I’m equally comfortable tackling my guy friends over dumb arguments as I am putting on nail polish, makeup, and crossdressing for a night at House of Yes.

🔎 who are you looking for?

Women and femme guys who appreciate earnest sincerity but don’t take themselves too seriously and love to try new activities.

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

this week’s hot single and his TikTok friends were recently followed around town by new york magazine. when he isn’t gallivanting around lower manhattan, you might catch him working on himself in therapy. when he IS gallivanting around lower manhattan, he might just guess your perfect celebrity lookalike. this good guesser is looking for a woman who matches his curiosity… what questions do you have?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. more classifieds are out on tuesday! get yours in:

submit a classified

what is your go-to party trick?

I love asking people who their celebrity lookalikes are. It’s a great icebreaker and conversation starter–and I am pretty damn talented at coming up with them. It’s especially fun when they say they don’t have one. Recently, I was at Pulqueria in Chinatown and mentioned to a complete stranger (may have imbibed some adult bevs before this) that she looked like this actress Margarita Levieva and she goes “wait, she’s my cousin. No one ever knows who she is.”

make up your own fuck/marry/kill

My favorite game in the entire world. A good one as a barometer of what people prioritize in a partner. Let’s do personality traits: confident, funny, compassionate.

I’m marrying funny because laughter is the best drug in the world and necessary for everyday mental health. I don’t believe you can laugh “too much” (there are annoying laughs, yes, but thats low on my “ick” list I guess).

I’m fucking compassion because a lack of that means you are a sociopath and i’m not trying to date Aileen Wuornos (Google her).

I’m killing confidence. Being confident is VERY important but I think it’s something that most people work on daily and out of these three traits, if overdone, can be a big turn-off.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I think I've had a bit of an issue with too rapidly denying my feelings for someone and moving on too quickly, i.e. losing interest quickly when the whole goal of dating is to take the other person's flaws, internalize them and come to either a common ground or make sacrifices if there are emotions involved and you can see yourselves with them. I’m working on it in therapy lol.

🥵 what makes you hot?

I am really curious about life, humanity, and new experiences. Meeting new people is something I covet. Finding new things to do in NYC is a dopamine enhancer. I prioritize exploration and newness in my everyday life and dislike stagnation. I am also an ambitious person who enjoys my passions, hobbies and work and is always looking for different ways to explore them. Some of these include: NYC history, movies, going to new places, music (specifically hip-hop/rap/jazz/classic rock), travel and dive bars.

🔎 who are you looking for?

I am looking for a woman who shares a curiosity about life, is ambitious and is passionate about trying new things and expanding outside of her comfort zone when it comes to new experiences. If she’s got great improv/banter skills that’s a huge plus and an interest in pop culture, sports, music and/or the arts is a bonus!

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

today’s hot single is a voracious reader, but don’t bother asking what she reads–she’s too omnivorous to pick. she does play favorites with her own books, though. her notes app full of ideas for mostly dystopian novels. this bookish beauty turns heads and pages…but could you join forces to create the page-turning romance of her dreams?

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. 🐦 just a little birdy 🐦 stopping by to remind y’all to submit your classifieds for next week:

submit a classified

p.s.s. this guy asked me if he can hard launch two girls to instagram at the same time. my take: hold your horses, casanova 🐴🐴🐴

tell us about a subculture or community you’re part of and how you got involved

I’m an avid reader. I’ve always been one. So naturally, becoming a booktoker and a bookstagrammer was probably inevitable. Becoming a bookish content creator has opened doors and fostered relationships that younger me could have only dreamed about. Especially during a time of darkness and uncertainty. But ironically, doing something that is essentially a solo hobby has led me to the most beautiful and blossoming community. You show up exactly as you are, and you talk about what you’re reading. Don’t ask me what I read though, because the answer will be, “literally everything.” I’m at over 150 books read this year, and I will try any genre (within reason) at least once.

what’s the last thing you wrote in your notes app?

After many years, and working on many novels (mostly dystopians but my current work-in-progress is a romance), while also being a content creator, my notes app is an absolute mess. But the last thing that I wrote was a swoon worthy meet-cute that was not inspired by real life events, but instead, my overactive imagination. Will it be used for this current project? Who knows. But it’ll for sure be used at some point.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

My toxic trait if I’m being honest is my inability to ask for help. I’m working on it. But I’m not quite there yet. My friend said I’m too fucking nice and don’t want to burden others, so I don’t always ask for help.

🥵 what makes you hot?

I’d say my ability to still push through life in spite of some of my recent experiences. Life can be, and has been tough you know? But I try to shine my light when and where I can. I know what darkness feels like. It has been an unwelcome roommate. So, I’d say that attempting to light up my own world while also attempting to light up the world of others is hot.  

🔎 who are you looking for?

I’m looking for a guy who has the initiative and drive (and patience) to deal with me and my unpredictable schedule. And someone who will surprise me with cute treats to show me I’m loved and cared for.

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a classified • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams 😘

this week’s hot single doesn’t party anymore, but that doesn’t mean she can’t chat you (or your grandpa) up. when she’s not mingling in a multi-generational way, you’ll find this social homebody in cozy mode with a good book and her trusty pup. she does in fact get out of this house sometimes, and has recently picked up a somewhat polarizing hobby. could you be the man with whomst she builds a home??

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. don’t forget to submit your classifieds for next week! they’re out on tuesday. we already have some juicy stuff…

submit a classified

what’s your go-to party trick?

I don’t party much in the sense of going to bars or clubs (got that out of my system during my first go-around in NYC circa 2012-2014, shoutout to all my other Output/Verboten attendees), but when I do go out, I can really talk to anyone, any age, and find a connection. I’ve been told I’m prettttyyy outgoing, even in sobriety. Recently, I was visiting my parents, and my dad introduced me to a childhood friend of his. This guy was in his 80s. We talked for a bit about my dad as he knew him growing up, and later on, he told my dad, “HEY, YOUR DAUGHTER IS FUNNY!” I enjoy talking to people, connecting and having fun. But what I love most is going home and getting cozy in bed with a good book and my pup (and hopefully you).

tell us about a subculture or community you’re part of and how you got involved

I do improv, and i fuckin love it! I started taking classes in Winter ‘21/’22 amidst omicron, as a way to get out of the house and stay connected. I just signed up one night on a whim. As I walked into the first class, I felt like a fool, looking around at my classmates and thinking, “Wow, we have to be the dorkiest group of New Yorkers ever,” but I was so wrong, and that was just judgmental fear! I love my weekly improv classes for getting out of my head, working with others, building skills for real life and just spending two hours each week laughing. The comedy community in NYC is genuine, beautiful, and positive. I love how it brings together people of all ages, job descriptions, and backgrounds.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I value my alone time. I’m used to doing life alone, and I want to learn to partner with someone in a real way and go through shit together. 

🥵 what makes you hot?

I was a full-time influencer from 2016-2021 and have since taken a step back. I use the internet in a much different way now. I have much better balance and boundaries now, and don’t share everything with the internet the way I used to. I think social media can be great (discovering new opinions, learning something new, meeting folks) but also really bad (comparing, always pushing us to buy something, the feeling of emptiness and lack that it can leave us with). However, you will not find me endlessly scrolling and addicted to my phone - I have boundaries and savor offline time. 

🔎 who are you looking for?

I’m looking for a romantic partner, the real thing, someone to do this life thing with. I want somebody nonjudgmental, kind, compassionate, and patient, and who has been through something big, and come out on the other side of it. 

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a classified • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams

before we jump into the hottie du jour, have you considered submitting a classified? because of this week’s classifieds, people joined book clubs, went to a fun event, and discovered a new newsletter. we also rated this guy who wanted to know his value on the dating market. it’s so special to see the community come to life in this way. join the fun by submitting one of your own:

submit a classified

this week’s hot single is a social media maximalist, but she’s not thinking that hard about it. an optimist who smokes too much weed, this funny girl isn’t changing herself for anybody. she’s looking for a man to inject some romance into her comedy-filled life. is it you?? lmk!

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. are you trying to meet people IRL by joining clubs? it can get a little dicey… read my advice on how to handle in-group breakups gracefully

what’s your relationship to social media?

I LOVE that clusterfuck. Before the age of 10 my unlimited and unsupervised access to the internet had blown apart and re-molded my mind into something monstrous, a hyperactive nuclear reactor full of fuck-words and movie references I wouldn’t understand for years to come. As a Zillennial (I detest the portmanteau but it really does the trick) my consciousness was downloaded into the singularity starting with Tumblr and most recently plateauing with Tik Tok. Senior year of high school, where most people would win superlatives such as “best hair” or “life of the party,” I won “selfie royalty.” I got a college degree in ‘Media Studies,’ and for all that money I can’t tell you what it’s taught me. Hopefully, though, my expertise is reflected in my socials? I think people confuse my erratic, often seemingly incessant social media posting to be a compulsive curation of a public identity, but it’s as simple as giving it zero thought, posting what I want, and leaving it alone. Interesting and somewhat unfortunate for me that people confuse that ‘posting style’ for the mating call of the try-hard. And while we’re here, why IS it stupid to try? 

what is your best personal quality?

My borderline-psychotic optimism. I didn’t even realize this until typing it, but my #1 mantra has always been “things are gonna be okay, because they have to be.” They just DO. Bad stuff is ALWAYS going to happen, sneak up on you, sit on your face and fart, etc. But THINGS? “Things” at large? They’re gonna be okay. Don’t ask me how I know, that’s like asking someone how they know their ass is in their pants. That’s just the way it is, for better or worse. Things are going to be okay. If you can make that motto the elevator music of your brain, catastrophes will seem smaller and life will keep being itself, but the bad will feel like the interim, until, of course, things end up alright. 

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

Being TOO sexy? TOO hilarious? In reality, probably smoking what most would classify as ‘enough weed to make a herd of elephants create a start-up’? Or, if you asked my therapist, it’d be catastrophizing and spiraling in order to pre-upset myself before life can do it for me. Slay! 

🥵 what makes you hot?

My me-ness. After growing up in the South and spending my entire life shaving my body smooth like a dolphin and pretending to be boring, I finally decided never to so much as TWEAK myself for what I thought a man would want. I think that’s gonna make me a darn supermodel for the right person. In the meantime, I have a great time, and any compliment I get goes straight into my little heart because I’m being my authentic self. 

🔎 who are you looking for?

I’m looking for a guy who knows what they want, who is over their ex, who doesn’t waste energy hating things like astrology just to set up flirtatious fake arguments with women they don’t respect to begin with (too specific?), someone who loves watching stuff on YouTube, who can make anything fun without trying. But also, I’ll know ‘it’ when I see it. 

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams

this week’s hot single has had enough of the fake shit on social media and in superficial social interactions. the larry david disciple is looking for real connection, with a side of absurdity. a new yorker through and through, he’s got the accent to prove it and a “bit of a New York attitude.” what does that mean? you’ll have to read on to find out…

stay hot 🥵

-randa

p.s. classifieds go out again on tuesday. submit one here

what does religion mean to you? 

Well, I'm Jewish–and definitely identify as Jewish, but not in the religious sense. I feel as though I have some of the qualities of an old school New York Jew. A typical New York diner patron, perhaps. Somewhere on the spectrum between Larry David and a heterosexual Ed Koch. Being Jewish is more of a history, ethnicity, a people–but if someone is religiously observant it probably won't work. My values are a little too libertarian.

what roles do love and affection play in your life? 

I value things of substance in life. I think there's a tendency, in America, to meet someone for five minutes in an Uber and refer to them as "my friend." But, in reality, that person is probably not your friend. I think social media has some benefits–but it's made us very good at marketing ourselves, and putting forth an image of an idealized life, at the expense of establishing real, authentic connections.

😈 what’s your toxic trait?

I spend at least $40 a day on food–and I don’t even eat at restaurants a lot, I just consume a lot of food. To be fair, I also like to waste money on niche products like buffalo mozzarella.

🥵 what makes you hot?

I'm open-minded, spontaneous, not a huge planner, happy to experience new things, not overly rigid, averse to rules and regulations, self-employed. I eat a lot, but I do try to keep myself in relatively good physical condition. A slight New York accent, and a bit of a New York attitude. I can also name all the US presidents in order. Bonus: I’m very close with my grandmother.

🔎 who are you looking for?

A woman who is funny, silly, has an absurd sense of humor, not-too-serious, not-easily-offended, enjoys Curb Your Enthusiasm. If you think Seinfeld is better than Friends then we’re probably going to get along.

🙋🏻 if you’re interested in this week’s hot single, respond to this email or send a message to hi@hotsingles.nyc with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)

hotsingles.nyc FAQ • get featured • submit a missed connection • get advice from Help me, Randa! • follow hot singles on twitter • follow hot singles on instagram • follow your dreams